What do a Barbie, a barrel and a dream have in common?
I know, funny title for our first look back over 25 years in missions. Let me give you some context. Being raised in the church from a young age, missionaries came and went. Seeing missionaries during the 60’s and 70’s was, let’s just say… perplexing. As a young girl, I was always drawn to and intrigued by their slides, projected on the screen of faraway lands and enchanting faces starring back at me. What confused me was the way in which the church embraced missionaries while on their furloughs. The notion of the “clothing barrel” for missionaries, unbeknownst to me was etched forever in my impressible young heart. Frankly, don’t judge me, missionaries were scary looking (think 70’s decade). Unkempt and wearing used clothes didn’t compare to the polished, gleaming white starched button down that our pastor wore every Sunday. What I didn’t know, the “used tea bag” mentality was firmly established in me, colliding with the hint of a dream that someday, I too could go to distant lands.
Fast forward 30 years, Chris and I and our very young kiddos were embarking upon a journey of a lifetime. Selling our house and its contents, cramming all our earthly belongings into 10 duffel bags, thankfully a 70-pound limit, back in the day helped with our packing. Saying goodbye to family and friends and seeing those slideshow faces of yesteryear slowly coming back into focus was our new reality. It’s hard to adequately share the full throttle of feelings one has when the unknown beckons, but the familiar is still present. In the midst of the excitement and sheer terror (on a bad day) of leaving, I’m met with my first collision of my little girl thoughts and the fireside room of my childhood church with those missionaries and my adult self where coming head-to-head, without me even knowing it.
I’m compelled, no… I’m drawn to a purposeful and calculated mama bear moment. Remember, we are in the deep end of the pool of letting go of our quaint suburban life, (picket fence included) to live overseas and be full time missionaries. Out of the many tasks we had to do to get ready, one stands out like it was yesterday. I buy a barbie doll for my then, 1 year daughter. There, I said it. Yep, a barbie doll. For a 1-year-old. What was I thinking? Well, a lot, actually. Little did I know, I was acting on the premise that I didn’t want our kids to go without; subconsciously feeling that a used missionary barrel somehow would be shoved into our children’s chubby little hands filled with broken, used rusted out toys on our first return from serving overseas. In buying this toy, my thoughts are… “I will save the barbie for when our daughter is older, so she will have something to play with.” This thought, was implanted in my naïve little heart way back when, somehow believing that God doesn’t fully care for or limits those called to serve as missionaries!!! He doesn’t look after us like He does my pastor at the pulpit. He looks after those here in the good old U S of A…. but limits Himself to those serving Him. I wanted to protect my kids, save them from what I had so ill perceived, that God was withholding, being cheap and not looking after ALL His flock. It took me years to connect the dots of the “barbie”. I always felt God’s presence, had read scripture, seen God at work in our lives countless times, knowing that He is Faithful. When I really got the fuller revelation of the barbie doll (could have been any toy for any of our kids) it literally transformed the way I viewed God and viewed myself as a missionary. In any walk of life or season, all of us can have a tendency to think in terms of God being limited verses unlimited. Of God being our everything, verses our flesh stating the opposite.
For years it bothered me to have those confusing memories of my church and what I saw when a missionary came through the door. What once was painful, became a forever life defining moment in how God used that experience to lead me to continually expand this profound yet challenging truth…
DON’T PUT GOD IN A BOX
By putting Him in any number of boxes, (in my case barrels, lol) we are the ones who are limited, not truly seeing His power and majesty. So, break open the box, destroy the box, burn the box and watch and see how the Lord can work in and though you.
What did I learn?
Recognizing that I had a belief from a young age, that distorted my view of God, that contradicted what I knew deep down, and was taught and I understood of God…yes even at a young age.
What did I take away from this story?
I believe that experience as a kid and the buying of the barbie as a 30-year-old, brought about in me, a foundation and springboard to one of the greatest platforms I still have and use today as a counselor, that as every day folk, we have a choice, a choice to see and understand who God is, to believe God is who He says He is. All the time, and in all things.
How can this story be applied to your own life?
Understand what you believe (theology) by intentionally pursuing a relationship with God. If you sense there were or are life changing moments in your life, big or small- talk to the Lord, connect with a counselor, unpack it and get your heart right. Don’t hold onto fear, anger and be stubborn with issues of forgiving another or your self.Stand true, in that choice of no matter how you are feeling, God can use you, woo you and sees you. Take a leap of faith, dream a little deeper, be a little bolder, take a chance on something new. Chris and I are just ordinary people. If we can do it, so can you.
A big shout out to our barrel and barbie busting church of over 25 years. To our friend Pastor Steve, you never put us in a box, never limited Chris and I in all our crazy adventures these 25 years. To Pastor Corey and the elders, thank you for truly letting missionaries do as God intends. To listen and obey to the call on our lives to serve Him.